I adopted that as my "life verse" when my mom got sick. It fit the situation then and has been a constant source of comfort since. I know that God causes or allows bad things to happen so that I can lean on Him all the more so, and when He brings me through it, I can praise His name even more.
Miss S doesn't quite understand that yet and Lil C has no clue about it. All they know is they like seeing their mommy. Fortunately, they were able to have their first visit with her Tuesday morning. I can't really explain what happened and even if I could, I'm not sure how much I could share. I will tell you that they were both excited to see her; I was able to meet her and exchange email addresses with her (for the 3 of them to communicate) and got a couple medical questions answered; and she seemed very nice.
I left a bag of snacks/drinks with them and left for a couple hours. When I got back, they were just finishing up and it was clear that they had enjoyed their time. She suggested that I take the kids and leave before her. As I picked Lil C up, he instantly started crying. As I started walking away from his mom, all hell broke loose. I have experienced his cries when he falls down and gets physically hurt, throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way, and now I've seen what the emotional hurt does to him. I literally felt like I was tearing him away from his mom.
He was fighting me the whole way back to the truck and into the car seat. It took everything I had to be able to hold onto all the bags in one arm and him in the other arm. Miss S was a trooper and just walked right behind me. Lil C continued screaming for a good (or bad) 20 minutes.
The rest of the day, after picking them up from school/daycare, was just like they told us in the classes. The kids had a much shorter fuse, were very aggressive with each other, and didn't think listening to Denielle and/or me was a good idea. There were a couple time-outs and several instances of pouting after being told not to do "that."
If this is what we have to look forward to every Tuesday morning, this is going to really suck. Don't get me wrong, I don't fault the kids here at all. It's just that Miss S is old enough to explain what's going on, but the little guy has no comprehension of the situation. All he knows is that he saw his mom for 2 hours after 3 weeks of nothing. Now he has no idea if he'll ever see her again. How does a 2 yr old deal with that? I guess I know now.
Please pray for continued guidance and patience for Denielle and me. She needs to be able to get enough rest to perform her job at the exceptional level she and her coworkers have come to expect. She also needs a husband who isn't just the guy crossing her path in the hallway as he changes a diaper or gets dinner ready. I would appreciate your prayers for an EMT test and a Fire Department test next month. Both require a substantial amount of studying and time for that has been hard to come by.
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Nick- I understand what you mean when you say visit days are hard. Even the classes don't totally prepare you for how the kids will react. Not sure if this helps or not, but when my kiddos go to a visit they have an SSA assigned to them who supervises the visit. It is helpful when they are the ones who take the child from the parents and deliver them to you in a seperate room. That takes you out of the picture as the one taking them away from their mom. Just a suggestion. It is always hard for the little ones, I too, feel terrible becuase they don't understand. Praying for their little hearts today. -Crystal
ReplyDeleteHaving an SSA sounds like a great idea. Thanks for the thoughts!
ReplyDeleteJust to encourage you, last year I learned that very young children are able to comprehend that you can do something do them that is very hurtful but you still love them and are very sorry that you have no choice. I learned this because our one-year-old son was very sick and was on an NG tube for several weeks. There is nothing like restraining your baby with your entire strength while you shove a tube up their nose and down their throat, causing them emotional and physical pain. I wondered if he would hate me for it, but I always told him I was sorry that I had to do it. And he understood and accepted comfort.
ReplyDeleteHopefully Lil C will understand that too. Let him know that you are sorry that you have to take him away from his mommy and that his anger makes sense. It's amazing what kids understand. Praying for you guys!
Thanks Jenny! I never thought of it that way. I'll give it a try this week.
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