There's something powerful about being responsible for a 7 and 2 yr old. It's similar to when I started dating Denielle. There were certain things I wasn't willing to do for previous girlfriends. Fast dancing, skipping sporting events, driving a dirty car; those were against my rules. I didn't feel comfortable dancing, Husker football was church on Saturday, and my car was an extension of my personality so why should it stay dirty?
I still remember the first time I missed a televised Husker game when Denielle and I were dating. I remember it because I forgot it. We were out looking at apartments (I was moving) and I suddenly remembered there was a game being played as we drove. I couldn't believe I was missing it. I also couldn't believe I was OK with it.
I'm finding myself very OK with making silly faces, talking in a high pitch, and being very animated. I get rewarded with smiles, giggles, and a smiling, giggling, little body running at me when I pick them up from school/day care/sunday school. It feels pretty cool to bend down, give a bear hug, and pick them up while they're giggling.
Through all the tough times when I want to scream at them or punch a hole in the wall, I am reminded of all the blessings God has given us through this. He is making me more dependent on Him, He is showing me what the innocence of a child is supposed to be like, and He is forcing me to be more active in my spiritual leadership.
Paul talks in 1 Thessalonians about having a spirit that wants to gently nurture like a mother would and then come alongside and firmly admonish like a father. He says we should strive to have both qualities so that others will see Christ and the Gospel through us. These kids definitely need to see the Gospel so my goal is to slowly gain those qualities every day. God help me.
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