"Why can't you just do what I told you?!" Ohhhh....

Epiphany: just because something comes naturally to me and I find it very easy to do does not make it come easily or seem natural to a 7 yr old.

"Don't drag that on the floor until we get a pad underneath it." She starts dragging it. Me, bewildered and more than a little ticked, "What did I just say?" She looks down and pouts. Ah, married life is great...

No, but seriously, I can't believe I never saw it this way before. To a 7 yr old, obeying something as simple as "don't stand on the couch" can be like an alcoholic avoiding a drink. It's still sin. Some people have a much harder time obeying it than others. I'm thinking God says the same thing to me every minute of every day. "Why do you keep doing that? Haven't I told you not to? Don't you know I have your best interests in mind?"

So Mother's Day is coming. And then obviously Father's Day. I don't feel like a parent right now. I have buddies who are dads and I always hear them say things like "I love doing _______ with my boys/girls." Or "I can't wait to get home and give them a hug and play with them." I don't feel that way. I feel a huge sense of relief when I drop Miss S off at school and then Lil C off at daycare. I didn't bring in foster kids so I could ship them off to be someone else's responsibility all day, but I know if I had them both (or even 1) all day, I would have a breakdown. Hopefully I'll start to want to have them around when I get done with my tests. For now, I just want some time to study and pick up after the hurricane blows through every morning.

Miss S asked Denielle is she was celebrating Mother's Day. Denielle asked her if she was a mother. No answer...All I can say is that she's doing an amazing job and I COULD NOT do this without her.