I don't know what to say.

A lot has happened in the week since I last wrote. The kids are still with us and we've been very busy with them. The last week's highlights have included a great time celebrating a dear friend's birthday, a water balloon fight in the backyard, Denielle's first Mother's Day, and me passing my national EMT test.

The kids love playing with our friends' kids and having a birthday party brought all the other kids out of the woodwork. They got their sugar high and then played in their backyard for a couple hours while D and I were able to get some good adult conversation!

D bought some water balloons a while ago so after her and Miss S did some yard work, we got the balloons ready, divided up into teams (boys vs. girls obviously!), and pelted each other until the last one was gone.

Mother's Day was interesting. If you asked D and I the same kind of question, we'd both tell you we don't feel like parents but our spouse is doing a great job. I know this because we've had many conversations like that. So with Mother's Day rolling in, I really didn't know what to do. Our church usually has all the mothers stand up to be recognized. I've always thought that was pretty cool. I've thought a lot about it because Father's Day is next. At this point, I won't be standing, but I wanted D to do what she wanted to do. This year was great too because Denielle's Mom met us at our church since D's Dad was working. When that moment came, they both stood up and I joined in the clapping to acknowledge them. We spent that afternoon and night at her parents' house, playing and having dinner. It's always great to spend time with them and the kids really love them.

I have to say this is really tough. I keep thinking about what one of our friends said to her husband. She basically said she couldn't imagine going from zero kids to a 7 yr old and a 2 1/2 yr old. We couldn't either. There's a gigantic learning curve we're trying to get through and I'm constantly at war with myself trying to figure out the best way to handle each situation/problem. My goal, in its simplest form, has always been to 1) preach the gospel physically and/or verbally; and 2) show them equal parts love and discipline. Easier said than done.

CPS told us their best guess is that the kids would be with us for about 6 months. That's about how long it takes for parents to get through the counselling/training classes. I'm glad we're just taking this one day at a time because if I look out another month or two, I don't like what I see. I'm struggling to see progress in them. I'm struggling to see how I'm a good option for them to come home to. I'm struggling to show compassion and yet be firm. I'm struggling because Miss S has 7 years worth of issues and tendencies that we're trying to correct. When I walk into daycare on Friday mornings to drop Lil C off, the lady there always says she's excited for the weekend. I fight the urge to tell her I can't wait for Monday so I can drop him off for a little while again.

High of the week for the kids: seeing Miss S think about what she's going to say before she says it. Lying and extreme exaggeration have been a big problem for her. Lil C is starting to say a few more words.
Low of the week for the kids: they're both getting physical at school with their classmates. We don't see it at home so we can't correct it but it's getting very disheartening.