Verbal vomit

Somebody recently asked me why I hadn't updated the blog in a while. That was my answer. I would have to say the content here is about 60/40, bad/good. That might even be optimistic.

Here's the skinny: this is rough. Since September, visits have been increased from once/week to twice/week to thrice/week to all day on Saturday. Now there's talk of an overnighter coming up. While we're happy that the kids get to see their mom more often, the behaviors they're exhibiting aren't fun. It truly feels like we're going backwards with Miss S and with Lil C, well, he's growing up so maybe that's all it is. But I think...check that...I know he's taking quite a few ques from his big sis. He's developed quite the attitude and is becoming more and more defiant. The weird thing is that he's much more obedient with men than women. I don't like it and I'm trying to help change it but I kind of like it too because it spits in the face of all those feminists who would say there's no difference between a man and a woman. Bet me! (equal but NOT the same)

What else? Lil C is doing pretty well with potty training...at least by my standards. He's probably sitting at 90% success rate with #1 and 10% with #2. Obviously, I'd love for that second number to go way up REAL soon. But, he's catching on and is getting better at telling us he has to go potty. Which leads me up to the fact that his vocabulary is getting much better too. He's understanding more about what we're saying and he's talking more. He's not real clear with what he's saying but we can usually figure it out quickly.

Miss S is having a rough time. She's been lying again and her attitude is suffering too. I really feel sorry for her. I know this whole situation sucks for her. She's being raised by a woman who really has no good support system to help her out. Plus, she's had to overcome some pretty hard choices that were made by her mom. I really can't blame her for acting the way she does when she's basically trying to survive. It doesn't stop me from getting upset but it does help me come back and show her attention.

I was talking to a buddy of mine at church yesterday about parenting. He's got a 7 year old girl so I asked him specifically about my problems with Miss S. He gave some great advice. Share Scripture with her. Show her that what I'm doing isn't just something that sounds like a good idea to me...it's something that the God she prays to has said. Yesterday, she disobeyed me and I got upset. When we got home from church, I took her to Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I used it to explain to her that she and I are both sinners. Then to Colossians 3:20 (I think) "Children obey your parents in everything as unto the Lord." I used that to tell her that even though we're both sinners, God has put me in her life as an authority figure. Then I went to 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." I don't think she knew half of those words! I broke it all down for her and said that her disobedience and my anger were sin that God has promised to forgive us of. I used an analogy of a chalkboard. Our sin is the chalk that we constantly write on the board. God's forgiveness is a giant eraser that's constantly taking off what we put on.

She seemed to understand it. Long story short, I was able to explain some stuff that I've been trying to explain for almost 8 months. Then she sat as I prayed for God to forgive us both for our sin. I think she got it. I'm not sure, but I know I'll have plenty more opportunities to do it.